Mealtime

     It is hard to bring a family together.  Or is it?  Maybe demanding the time and effort is what is hard.  Either way...I make it a must do.  We run in many directions all day, so for a chunk of time I make it a priority to be together.  At the table.  Now, before you worry that I will bust out a series of snooty little rules...please put your shield down and relax.  It's not that kind of battle.  Go fight with local government or something if you are angry. 
    Meals are where we join up and connect.  Yes, some of them are home cooked and amazing.  Maybe I have felt inspired to bust out a new recipe or dig deep for a classic or learn what the hell gluten is all about.   There is a possibility of a seasonal veggie fresh from a farm or a highlighted autumnal squash or fruit.  (Please note my sarcasm.  It's true and all but I'm saying it with a very bad accent.)  But maybe we are having cheesesteaks laden with grease, goo and the type of fats that are being squawked about on Facebook as I type this.  Last night we had sausage and peppers (made by moi) but we EVEN ATE THEM ON PAPER PLATES.  Shhhhhhh, don't tell the dish police.  The point is flexibility.  The point is finding the balance.  The point is listening to what we all are excited to talk about that night.  Sometimes the little guy gets the floor because he is working out some new concept he is trying to wrap his head around.  Other days...my daughter might need to be authentic and silly after a day battling with the new challenges of middle school.  My partner might need to vent about the frustrations of teaching high school seniors.  I might need validation about how I spent my time behind the scenes of motherhood. We all have voices at our dinner table.  The television is quiet.  Manners are expected.  Rules are clarified. 
     For a second there you put your shield back up and lifted your dagger.  Relax.  Some nights we veg in front of the tv as we eat because we are all too wiped to dig deeper while dining.  We laugh at a show we have all agreed is hysterical...though we do tend to find ones that teach us a little something about life in the process. But we sit and we share.  I don't allow others to meander away when they are finished.  I make everyone chip in with the cleaning up.  We take turns setting the table.  Maybe one day there will be a new poster..."Everything I needed to know about life I learned at the dinner table" sort of thing. 
     Now, how to do I do this in the sandwich?   Well...my father is old.  He likes certain food and hates others but he is quiet about it for the most part.  The funny new thing is how he eats things he never would've touched years ago and won't eat the things he used to devour.  The aging mind loses the ability to discern certain flavors and has therefore allowed me to sneak in things that would have been previously snarled at.  Rosemary, cilantro and curry run rampant through our kitchen now...because they are finally allowed to.  The kids...well they have to eat what is put before them.  Period.  Luckily, they are pretty open to most things but even when they aren't...that's all that is being served.  If you are hungry you will eat.  Picky and starving don't ever mix.  As for the man across from me, he knows to eat his veggies if he wants a peaceful meal.  I am also sure to take turns with the likes of the group.  If I make you cutlets one day and the other one soup the next...everyone is happy at some point.  Eat this today and you might get your favorite on Thursday.  Patience is good.  Put that on my poster with the rest of it.  I have learned that along with the exotic herbs, organic heirloom tomatoes and quinoa I must also serve the Kraft mac and cheese, fish sticks and chocolate pudding.  But more importantly I have to throw in conviction, strength, courage and compassion. Do I measure up my Weight Watchers points every time?  No.  But sometimes I do and I guess that's better than never doing it.  We all know some days are easier or harder than others and I am kind to myself as well as my family. 
     I don't yell when we spill milk anymore.  I have gathered the courage to demand help.  Miss Martyr is missing with Miss Nelson.  I feel good when people devour the yummy placed before them but am not held up by a lack of praise.  I have broken the bad mealtime cycles that were passed to me and yet carried on the pleasant and honored traditions as well.  And whether we are eating fresh kale chips or frozen peas we all get up knowing we are loved by the family we have just shared a meal with...together.  Dessert is not the only sweetness we have found there. 

The Movies

     This week is an adventure in film.  We started it off with an action-packed superhero experience, will end it with a musical and somewhere in the middle is a racially tense historical sports movie.  So how does one take five people (more if a lucky guest joins us) to the cinema with success?  I'm so glad you asked...

Rules:

1.  Please DO feed the animals.  I try to fill them up with a carb and protein laden meal before we
      leave.  We use coupons and cinemode as much as possible for things like free nachos and
      drinks or combo upgrades.  We get the giant bucket of popcorn (free refill comes with this
      bad boy) and I hand out tiny paper bags that need to be refilled constantly.  I pretend I am the
      zookeeper that I longed to be as a child and go to my happy place as I load up my fingers with
      grease and salt and a small hope that all will behave. 

2.  Seating is KEY!  I have tried to accomodate all wishes.  But after numerous attempts at the perfect
     arrangement I have finally found the secret code.  The two that share a pepsi sit together.  The
     other two who share an unsweetened tea sit together and children are far, far away from one
     another.  Adults can hold hands if not too greasy to grip tightly.  Pop is close to aisle for frequent
     trips to the bathroom.  Pop gets no drink which helps with the prior sentence issue.  I am also no
     longer above sneaking in the occasional bottle of water or box of Mike and Ikes for a crank.  

3.  Charge phone fully before start time.   When you need to get five people to sit still and be nice-
     a gadget can help with the wait.  We will have quality time on the way TO the theater as we argue
     about music selection and seating assignments and if the window is too much air and if the heat
     should be on and if the seat is too hard and the light was too yellow to go through and.....

4.  Sell the movie and the reaction to it.  If you want the little guy to sit through it...pretend it's too
     much for his little eyes to see.  He will sit through two hours of a zebra pooping if you tell him
     it's rated PG-13.  He can read now though so I have had to up my salesmanship.  Tell the old guy
     that it is about action, history or ladies.  Even if he hates it he's pretty mild in his response.  The
     tween girl is tricky.  She changes everyday so my skills have to be sharp with this one.  Just
     recently noticing that boys can be cute has helped.  Thanks to the hormones and hunky heroes for
     help on that one.  

5.  Find the best deal.  A half hour drive is worth it if the ticket is only $4 or $6 bucks for the early
     show.  A matinee at the mall is super cheap as well.  Get them to bed early...feed them a huge
     brunch...and you are all set.  Tell people that movie gift cards have single handedly saved your
     sanity the past few years and be grateful that the local art theater has a great membership deal
     complete with discounts, cheap revivals and freebies. 

All joking aside, movies have been a blessing to us all.  They teach history, they make us giggle and
they give us hope when days have been tough.  We all go.  We all have some common thing to discuss.  Sometimes we even find a new passion because we went on a journey together to some far off land or back in time.  Whether an Avenger came to save the day or a horse taught us about war we
have all loved many films together for one reason or another.  If I can get Pop to tap his feet because he approves of the music and a little guy grabs a mitt and ball and reenacts a baseball game and all five of us left the theater praising the movie that just ended...it was more than Jackie Robinson who hit a homer.  It has taken practice and I almost quit a few times with a declaration aloud and with witnesses that I would NEVER AGAIN TAKE US ALL TO THE MOVIES but I think I got it now! So....about those gift cards...